There was a point in my life when I forgot how to be happy. Everything was going wrong: I had just been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, my 12-year-old dog had died of cancer, my social life was in the wood chipper, and everything seemed to revolve around working a job I hated and paying bills. Deep down, I knew this wasn’t right—something had to change.
So I did the unthinkable: I gave up my job and apartment in Oregon and booked a one-way ticket to Mexico. I left with little more than a vague plan to backpack from Yucatán through Central America and the goal of remembering how to be happy again.
Along the way, I discovered the strength to rely on myself, the courage to do scary things and how to take life as it comes instead of worrying about everything that could go wrong. Here’s how you can too.
Strength in self-reliance
Finding happiness wasn’t about staying in luxe resorts or basking in creature comforts disguised as spiritual retreats. Luxury would no doubt have had the opposite effect—temporary indulgences often lead to inevitable dismay once you return to life’s mundane struggles. What I needed were challenges to shake me up, obstacles to overcome and fresh experiences to remind me that the world is a beautiful place filled with amazing people, history, culture and adventure.
Leaving the easy path meant that I had to rely on myself for everything, from planning and problem-solving to safety. There was no one to fall back on in emergencies or help me carry my bags between bus stations or shuttle stops and hostels. I had no one to commiserate with when everything went wrong or take care of me if I got sick or injured in a foreign country thousands of miles from home.
Through those challenges, I learned that I’m strong, I can rely on myself regardless of the circumstances and I’m responsible for my own happiness.
If you’ve never backpacked or traveled solo before, these scenarios may sound daunting. But it’s only by testing your own limits that you find out just how strong you really are. You don’t have to jump in headfirst, either. Instead of a months-long journey across multiple countries, start with dipping a toe in the water. Even a short trip by yourself can get the ball rolling and help you build up to a more extensive trip later.
The power of risk and novel experiences
There’s power in taking risks and testing one’s strength. Moreover, new experiences like travel can build neuroplasticity. Part of rediscovering myself was finding out that I can do scary things and not just survive but thrive.
I went swimming with sharks in Belize (they were nurse sharks—but they still count!), and I didn’t back out of night snorkeling, even after the guide described how he had come face-to-face with a bull shark not long before. I went crocodile spotting by the light of the moon and splashed around a bioluminescent lagoon not far from where we had seen them lurking in the mangroves. And I even hiked active volcanoes and went volcano boarding down one of them.
Whereas most people back home thought I was terrifyingly brave (or stupid) for traveling to countries like Guatemala, El Salvador and Nicaragua—places they considered not just dangerous but altogether off-limits—these experiences helped me “rewire my brain for happiness,” as Dr. Sanjay Gupta and other experts describe. It wasn’t just the thrilling adventures, either. Some of the most joyful moments of the trip were meeting strangers from around the world and hanging out with locals on the stoop of a hostel in San Juan del Sur, Nicaragua.
The point is to push yourself outside your comfort zone—and maybe throw a little shade on other people’s projections while you’re at it. That doesn’t mean you should start packing for somewhere legitimately dangerous or jump out of a plane with an unlicensed guide, though. The key is to pick a place and activities that are thrilling, not ones that will put you in serious peril.
Letting go and letting life happen
More than once, I arrived in a new country with zero local currency and no idea where I would sleep that night. For instance, when I hopped off a shuttle in León, Nicaragua, it was long past dark and I had nowhere to go. Fortunately, the hostel across the street from the drop-off had a bed left—and they agreed to wait until morning for payment, giving me time to find an ATM.
By then, I had learned to roll with the punches. Being able to let go and trust that everything would work out was a far cry from the daily anxiety I had known back home. But it didn’t come easily or all at once. There were still moments of panic before that—like when I missed my stop in Belize, which was the only connection to the village of Hopkins, and ended up hours away. Later, when I arrived in Guatemala City, I thought I could catch the next bus to Antigua, but there wasn’t one.
In my mind, these events could have been disastrous. But the world didn’t end, and everything worked out. From those stressful but manageable experiences, I learned to stop worrying and be in the moment. Anxiety and worry had chipped away at my happiness for far too long.
Things are going to go wrong when you travel—that’s a given. If you’re a worrier, this is where the magic happens. Instead of panicking or breaking down, focus on what’s going right in the moment. A mantra can also be helpful, so it’s a good idea to choose one beforehand.
It’s worth taking a chance on yourself
It’s easy to get wrapped up in day-to-day struggles and lose sight of the good things in life. If everything has been going wrong lately, it might be a sign that you need to get out and explore that big, beautiful world out there. Solo travel offers a rewarding opportunity to shift your perspective and get back to the basics of being happy.
When you travel, be sure to try foods and activities that you wouldn’t otherwise experience. Doing so will teach you a lot about yourself—and you might just find a new favorite along the way. Try to make friends and join group activities, too. Even if it’s just going to the movies or walking around a foreign city, having other travelers around you can stave off the loneliness that you might grapple with if you’re not used to being alone for long periods of time.
Wherever you decide to go and for however long, though, have faith in yourself. You’ve got this.
Photo by Riya Anne Polcastro
